This word constantly troubles me. Do I get what I deserve? By whose standards? I do not have a lift to complain about at all... I am so grateful for every blessing bestowed upon me. I am so loved, cared for, and provided for. I just wonder somedays, when is it going to be my turn?
When will I find that man that I deserve? When will I finally have that friendship that I deserve? What about that job security that I deserve?
These run through my head. As I am entering my 27th year on Earth.. I feel this is the year. This year I may not find job security. I may be uprooted once again.. I have already found those friends that I deserve. But whatever it is... This year is going to be fabulous. I can feel it in the air. I feel it when I pray.
God is answering all of my prayers and questions. I am asking for specific things in prayer now, and am seeing results. My prayers are usually all about everyone else, and very general when I pray for myself. Not this year. This year I am praying specific prayers for myself. I am focusing on anger, forgiveness, health, self-control, and love. This year will be my year.
I pray for my friends daily... and I always include a section for those that need prayers that I might not remember by name, or even know that they need them. I will continue this. My selfishness this year has nothing to do with stopping to care for my friends and family. I think with my strengthening will come only caring more about others. I can already see this change happening.
I am so incredibly blessed to have what I have. I just wonder somedays... when is it my turn?
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